So I’ve been rereading this book. I remember the first time I read it and I remember hating it. Hating it cos it was dumb and girly and dumb and just dumb in general. But now reading it, I understand. I’ll just put up a poem from it, written when the guy decides he’s gonna suicide. The book has great stuff on dreams, and love and just life in general, and it’s just beautifully written as a whole. I might put up some more later. Anyone know what book it is? No google allowed.
Can you see what I see?
No I don’t think you can
I see images of nothing
and I attempt to make that
nothingness mean something
As hard as I try there is
still nothing and that nothing
is meaningless
I am somewhere else now, outside
I am surrounded by people and
the sky. I see the people and the
blueness of the sky
but still nothing has changed
Everything remains the same
I am still alone.
Actually, here is a bit about dreams. I’ll just chuck it up anyways because it’s good. The names’ll probably give it away, but yeah.
‘You know something, Jacob, I’d hate to be as smart as John. I mean he was really, really smart and to be that smart means you know all the answers and when you know all the answers there’s no room for dreaming.’
He nodded.
‘There’s nothing to look forward to any more if you don’t have dreams,’ he said. ‘Because dreams are goals and John might have run out of goals. So he died. But we’re alive and one day I want to own my own garage and you want to be a hot-shot barrister and it’s not going to happen today or tomorrow, it’s going to happen in years and it’s something to look forward to. Promise me you’ll never stop dreaming.’
That’s the thing with life and everything in it. Purpose is caused by not having something. Or having not achieved something. Life rarely turns out the way you want it to, and sometimes it’s for the better, and sometimes it’s for the worse. Sometimes when something seems absolutely impossible, that’s when it happens. Life is just like that. And dreams maybe for fools, but I’d much rather be a fool here in this world with all you guys than a smart person all alone. Which is why I’ll never stop dreaming. I know this post soudns crazy gay, but I swear I’m not. I don’t know how my life’ll turn out. I might end up in Avondale in a year, I might be doing med at UNSW or anywhere, I might not be doing med, heck, in one year I might not be alive. But I do know that regardless of how much I know it isn’t gonna happen, dreaming is just what I do.
Something I was talking about before with someone. You know you never break a promise. Never. Otherwise when you really mean something with all your heart and you just have to show someone how much you really mean something, there isn’t any way if you break promises. You just need that one thing where you can guarantee someone, regardless of anything, that you’ll be there for real. That’s why promises were invented, I reckon. But yeah, the thing about promises is that sometimes we make them too hastily and then we get stuck in a position when our brains have to do the talking because we already made the promise, but our hearts are screaming something else. That’s tough.
Anyways, hope uni is kicking, and the return for some of you guys tomorrow is something you are keen on rather than unkeen on. I hope I can see you around some time and Meadowbank park was fun. I mean we didn’t really do much and some of you guys had to sit around doing nothing for ages, but it was nice to see everyone. Maybe next time we’ll grab some more fun stuff to do, like tennis balls and stuff.
