19 years isn’t very old, but at the same time I think it’s very long. Whenever I talk to family about my life and what is happening in it, it usually follows a very similar pattern. We discuss my gap yearing and this is usually followed by the question of “What, are you a girl? Don’t be so scared. You should’ve gone to Armidale.” And then normally someone brings up my cricket, and then I get the usual advice of “cricket can wait, son. Finish your studies first, then you can play all the cricket you want. Put the ball and bat down for the next few years.” It’s funny because sometimes I feel like I’m already starting to defend myself even before I get accused of being soft.
But the reason I wanted to share that, was recently I was talking with a friend about dreaming, and what I came up with, is that dreaming is for ourselves. Dreaming is the carrot out in front of the horse that keeps it going, It gives us a little portal into our own world, where the things and people we love is really our highest priority, and it allows us to live the lives we want to. I don’t think you need to dream of being an astronaut or being a superstar to dream. I think as long as you have something you want or need that you love, whether it be a career or a person or a goal, then that is your dream. Sometimes I talk to people, and they say, “It scares me that I don’t dream.” I think it’s not that people dream, it’s that they just don’t see what their dreams are.
I think it’s very clever the manner in which we have named dreams as it shares the name with the often surreal events that take place whilst we sleep. I think the comparison that someone may have made is the way in which it is another world, a world that doesn’t involve the usual drag of everyday life. What I’ve noticed about sleeping dreams is that even when it’s something boring that I’m dreaming of, like going to school or doing a test, it is never boring. In our dreams everything seems intense almost, even the most normal of acts.
And even when we have mad dreams and we explain them to others the next day, though they may be slightly humorous they are rarely as fun to others as they were for ourselves. And I think that is why someone named both acts the same, because they are both intensely personal, and only we can truly understand their beauty. I think we need to dream for ourselves, and we need to keep it real for everyone else. Everyone always about ‘keeping it real’, or as people like to call it ‘being realistic’. I think that it is an important part of life but when you look at some people’s stories like how Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team, you just have to wonder, “What if Michael Jordan decided to keep it real then?” Sometimes I really do think that impossible is nothing, but that the people around us love us too much to dare to believe that. I think that to everyone else your own dreams are maybe foolish and naive, and at times irrelevant. It is of little consequence and a mere side story that will not affect anyone else’s lives unless they come to fruition, and until they do, I think it is something that means something only to ourselves.
Having said that, I love to hear people dream. To listen to people talk and verbally paint the picture of their perfect world is a beautiful thing, and to hear the passion through their voice is something unmatched in this world. Meaningless conversation can be funny and enjoyable, but it is when someone opens the door to their world and shows me what they want and desire and need that really intrigues me. It seems the things we value the most are often the hardest for us to get, and I’m not yet sure if that is because we value them so.
A lot of my day is spent day dreaming, making a little world where everything is the way I want it to be, and though I do it unintentionally, I enjoy it. It makes me sad sometimes knowing that it can’t be that way, and even sadder when I realise that it actually can be that way but the way the world is built and how I view different things means that I am the one who makes it impossible.
It’s funny cos even though I spend so much time being optimistic and shooting for stars, there is always a little bit of me that is always there as a counter. I have a very pessimistic side. Kind of like the grumpy old man that lives in the apartment below and taps his roof when you are making too much noise, every time that I feel like I’m flying in life, I can always rely on my pessimistic side to keep me in check. Maybe I am insensitive and unappreciative of the key role that he plays in my life, but sometimes I hope that he would just go ahead and die.
Anyways, that’s all I wanted to say, and I’ve been itching to blog for ages and I just thought I’d spit a little out. Hope to see you guys sometime soon once your exams are done and I’ve dodged my way around these interviews. Adios amigos.
